And He Lost His Imaan – Read or Watch


Video at the end of the Post

A brother came up to me after a Friday khutbah. He had that look in his eyes, a look that said he had a story to tell. He walked up to me and said “Brother, what you just talked about, really personally hit home for me.” And I talked about the death of Khadijah radhiyallahu anha and Abu Talib such a serious topic! So I got very curious and said “please tell me. How did it hit home for you?” I sat him down and said “Please tell me your story.”

He said “Brother, today was the first day I prayed in a year! I grew up in a Muslim home, I was born in a Muslim family, I was very practicing for most of my life. But today is the first time I prayed in a year.”

He said “about a year ago my life was picture perfect. You know sometimes you have your grand plan and everything is falling into place and everything is going according to plan? I was in that part of my life. I was almost thirty. I had gone through college and medical school, working two jobs on side. I had gotten married during that time, found the woman of my dream, the love of my life. We had two beautiful small children. I was at my medical residency, working sixteen hours a day. And we were living in this small tiny little apartment and we had a small car that kept breaking down every other day. It was very difficult, we were barely getting by. But we got through. Someway. Somehow.”

“I was now nearing the end of my medical residency. So I was starting to get offers from clinics and hospitals and doctors. Very lucrative offer, six figures! And things were starting to work out. I had not one but multiple offers on my desk. We had gone looking for nice and bigger homes, in a nice neighborhood, nice schools for our children, we went to car dealerships looking of nice cars. Everything was working out. All our dreams were finally coming true.”

“One day I came home a little bit earlier than scheduled. I walked into my house, I said Assalamualaikum, as the Sunnah is but nobody responded. I looked at the time and it was the time my wife would usually put the kids down for a nap, and she would take a nap with them as well. So I thought, let them sleep, I don’t want to wake them up. So I went and got some food and sat down with my books to study. After a while I heard the kids from the room. The younger one was crying, the older one was talking. I got very excited, as a father does.”

“So I went into the room. I walked in and my kids were sitting on the bed next to my wife. And my wife is laying there, between them… motionless. And it looked wrong. Being a doctor I jumped right in and I checked her and she was dead. And she has been dead for like an hour! She was gone, just like that! At that moment my life had fell apart. I lost the love of my life, my children lost their mother. And I lost my faith… my imaan.”

“The next 24 hours were a blur. Janazah, tadfeen, burial. It went by, I didn’t even realize what was going on. After that 24 hours ended I went to my room and locked myself. And I did not come out for days. I kept the lights off and I just laid there and starred at the ceiling. I did not hold my own children for the next few days. My mother and my brother were taking care of my babies. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. After a few days I crawled out the bed, I reconnected with my children, I tried to get back to work, tried to figure out how I was supposed to work and take care of my kids. My mother and my brother helped me so much.”

“Slowly but surely over the weeks and the months I put my life back together again. I got back to work, figured out the schedule for the children. But there was one thing that was still missing. One thing I could not figure out. My imaan was gone… my faith had been broken. I stopped praying. I no longer had faith.”

“But my brother was there for me the entire time. He looked after my kids, he stayed awake with the babies when I had to go to the hospital for a call. He’s somebody who took care of me and my kids. I love him… I respect him. And he is a very pious, a very righteous man. He kept telling me, every single day… brother come on, you need to pray. And I kept resisting and refusing. But this morning, today he showed up at my house and he said “I am not taking no for an answer. Mother will watch the children. You are coming to the masjid with me. You will come to jummah, you will put your face on the ground before Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and you will pray! You will make sujood, you will say Allahu Akbar and the hole in your heart will be filled.” So I came to the jummah and I heard the khutbah and you were telling the story of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam, how he lost the mother of his children, how he lost the love of his life. And I found the answer to my question. It made sense to me again.”

Think about this… After going through so much tragedy, how does somebody continue? How does the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam wake up the next day, go out there and preach harder than he did yesterday. Work harder than he sallallahu alaihi wa sallam did ever before, knowing that he’s going to come home to an empty house, to an empty bed. Knowing that he’s going to come home and has to look at his children in the face and wipe the tears from there face, and tell them that their mother is not coming back. How did he persevere? How did he continue?

It was at that moment that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala provided him sallallahu alaihi wa sallam a solution. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala took him to the most miraculous journey any human being has ever experienced. It is called the journey of Al-Isra wal Miraj. The journey by night to Jerusalem, Al-Aqsa and then the ascension above the heavens. And there he sallallahu alaihi wa sallam got closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala than any creation of Allah has ever gotten, even Jibreel Alaihis salam. And there Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala gave the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam a gift. And that gift was the five times daily prayers.

Difficulties will come, adversities will knock your door, and tragedies will befall you. But every single time you fall, stand back up and say Allahu Akbar! Every single time you deal with a difficulty, say Allahu Akbar! Salah will heal your wounds, it will solve your problems, it will ease your difficulties.

– By Abdul Nasir Jangda


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